Endless

Staring blankly.

Why can’t I feel things? And yet the tears running down my cheeks tell me I’m feeling too much.

This place is empty, this place in my heart, in my stomach, in my mind. It’s all empty. And the worst is that I know something is missing.

I’m ticking all the boxes one by one…

Travel ✔️

Job ✔️

Career ✔️

Partner ✔️

Home ✔️

Family ✔️

And yet… the emptiness is louder now than it ever was. I always had something to distract me… and now that everything is good I can’t avoid my own thoughts

No sleep. Food is tasteless. I pray I don’t have to get out of bed or go to work. I just want to be alone, but at the same time I have a longing to connect.

I thought everything would be better once I got my life on track. The things that fuck you up in the past follow you forever.

I just want to be happy.

3am Thoughts #1

I want to live simply.

I don’t want to be constricted to the daily grind.

I want to sleep when I need to, eat when I want to and travel when I feel I need to.

I want to explore this world and find beauty in things unknown.

I want to gain knowledge for self growth not success and money.

I don’t want to settle for happiness in society’s view.

I want to find real happiness within me.

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates…

… You never know what you’re gonna get”

– Forrest Gump

Life.

It can be unpredictable at times and it certainly never turns out exactly the way you expected it to. Its full of extremes and a variety of emotions, from joy to sadness, cruelty to kindness, heartache to passionate love and everything in between.

At school we are taught that if you do good, good things will happen in return and you will be rewarded with a gold star! Unfortunately in the real world there are no gold stars and no guarantees that your “good doings” will keep you safe from bad things, unpleasant things, sad things or anything difficult.

The truth is you cant go through life without a few bumps along the way BUT you do have a choice in the way you react to it. Your reaction to a situation can completely change your trajectory in life. This is something that people (including me) take years to learn and most of the time when bad things happen we have a tendency to become the victim of our situation. We avoid taking the responsibility of our own actions and therefore we avoid the responsibility of our own life. Unless your prepared to face the truth and take on the responsibility of your actions you will always be stuck in an ignorant loop of self pity. The age old saga of “why is this happening to me”, “what did i do to deserve this”, “why do bad things happen to good people”. There is no reason for the way things happen, they just do!

The only thing that is certain is your actions. You can choose to focus on the bad stuff and keep your self up at night trying to figure out the “whys” or you can choose to focus on the good things and keep choosing actions moving forward that bring you closer to your goals.

Life IS like a box of chocolates and you never know WHAT your gonna get….but whatever you get you can CHOOSE to laugh, instead of cry…and keep moving forward.

Hello Blog World…

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

-Bob Marley

Here i am… sitting here trying to decide how to write this without sounding like an information form that you fill out when you sign up to a new rewards program. Do any of those programs actually give you back good rewards? I haven’t accumulated enough points to find out yet. That might give you a hint about my age.

If your in your 50’s you’d tell me that i was young, but if your in your 20’s like me, we would be complaining about how old were getting and how the time between ending high school to hitting 30 went faster than the Hogwarts express. I have three precious years left before im “thirty and fabulous” and i haven’t figured “IT” all out yet but im certainly more sure about things then i was when i was 19. Progress right?

I guess im starting this blog because i think i have something interesting to share with the world, to discuss with other people, to connect. I’ve always enjoyed writing but since i started my bachelor of psychology i have not written or read things just for FUN! I also enjoy photography, not that i am in any way a professional photographer, but i like taking photos of things that i find beautiful. I think its interesting how two people could be in the same place but see the world from different perspectives, photography is a way to share my perspective.

So i thought, why not share my photos and thoughts and start a blog!

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