Endless

Staring blankly.

Why can’t I feel things? And yet the tears running down my cheeks tell me I’m feeling too much.

This place is empty, this place in my heart, in my stomach, in my mind. It’s all empty. And the worst is that I know something is missing.

I’m ticking all the boxes one by one…

Travel ✔️

Job ✔️

Career ✔️

Partner ✔️

Home ✔️

Family ✔️

And yet… the emptiness is louder now than it ever was. I always had something to distract me… and now that everything is good I can’t avoid my own thoughts

No sleep. Food is tasteless. I pray I don’t have to get out of bed or go to work. I just want to be alone, but at the same time I have a longing to connect.

I thought everything would be better once I got my life on track. The things that fuck you up in the past follow you forever.

I just want to be happy.